PICK: NEW ZEALAND ROWERS, HAMISH BOND AND ERIC MURRAY
After tweeting they would set a world record in the men’s pairs, the Kiwi row-boaters actually made good on their promise, mercilessly violating the previous, decade-long mark by almost six ticks. The downside to this Herculean achievement? It was only a heat. Nevertheless, as sure as sheep are scared in New Zealand, this anything-but-coxless pair are going to romp home in the event proper.
FLICK: THE OWNER OF THE DOG THAT RAN THROUGH THE PELOTON IN THE MEN’S CYCLING ROAD RACE
Why wasn’t this animal on a leash? Skip that - WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BRINGING A DOG TO A CYCLING RACE?! Through sheer blind luck, no competitor had to screw the pooch after four years of blood, sweat and tears. But still: what sort of priceless moron thinks Rover will ‘stay…staaaay’ as three hundred tasty tyres flash past?
In other news, David Beckham’s dog, Coco, has gone missing…