Digress Olympic N Flick Day 6

PICK: RUSSIAN JUDO COMPETITOR, TAGIR KHAIBULAEV

Every Olympic athlete deals with pressure.  But we doubt anyone’s stress could compare to that experienced on day 6 by judo champ, Tagir Khaibulaev.  Performing in front of head honcho, Vladimir Putin - black belt in judo, blacker belt in human rights - the 100kg dynamo avoided a time-share in the Gulags by besting reigning gold medallist, Mongolian Tuvshinbayar Naidan, and securing Russia’s third gold on the mat.  He might’ve even prompted the buoyant Prez to find a tad of mercy for feisty punk girl band, Pussy Riot, currently on trial in Moscow for third degree sanity.

FLICK: BOXING FIX

Okay, news of the Olympic boxing tourney being riddled with scoring controversies is about as predictable as losing your loose Speedos on a ten metre dive.  But it’s still a disgrace.  What will it take to fix - pardon the pun - a problem as old as the Olympics themselves?  We think we have the solution: fusion.  Combine all of the joke sports that feature farcical subjective judging - synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, equestrian dressage and boxing - into one glorious pankration of mayhem.  No one could possibly fix a mess as colossal as that.